mikeandnichaveababy

Good evening fellow cyber space monkeys! I suspect that anyone still checking this blog are content to be called cyber monkeys. If not, best you speak to the Boss.

Since the last scintillating update, Nicola has grown somewhat. Now, despite her criminal past, I felt it a little over the top for the young spotty chap at JJB sports to stop Nicola and have a go at her for stealing footballs. Thankfully the whole thing got straightened out and the only person to be hurt was of course the wee spotty chap. Black eye and a couple of broken ribs. She got a bit tired though (must be down to the pregnancy) just as she was about to start work on the knee.

On a serious note, young Nic is beginning to slow down a wee bit. It's becoming a bit of a struggle to lift herself off the sofa to go grab me a packet of crisps from the kitchen and the walking back and forth to work is taking its toll. Sleep is also becoming a problem, as her mind seems to go into overdrive at 3 in the morning following a visit to the bathroom. On a few occasions she has attempted to involve me in discussions at this devilish hour but a couple of groans and sympathetic grunts seem to have curbed her talkyness. I've heard the tv go one a couple of times but at that time of night the Jeremy Kyle is even more annoying than normal so she seems to have gone back to staring at the ceiling.

Last weekend we drove down to see Nicola's pal Fiona in Manchester. The purpose of the visit was to attend Fiona and David's engagement party. The party itself was pretty much an all day event and I managed to find myself with more than a couple of lager shandy's sliding down into the pit. Nicola managed to avoid any fighting at this party and had a really nice time. A few other members of the Nicola friend club made it down to Manchester and quite a few of them coped off. I'm a little hazy on the details but I hear that more than one of them succeeded in pulling with the world famous:

Hey min, dee ye want to get aff we me or nae?

It always failed for me but I think if your female you can get away with that kind of chat.

Finally, I'd like to talk about the conversation that I had with Nic this morning. Right, so it's Monday morning. I'm running late and am dolled up in my creased shirt and trousers, trying to grab anything edible for breakfast. I see Nicola in the hall and she looks a little uncomfortable. I ask her if she is ok and she replies:

Yeah, fine. I'm a little bit crampy. I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S CONTACTIONS.

Mike - Eyes wide - scared - taken aback "EH!" Where did that word come from? I don't need to be hearing "contractions".

Thankfully, it was just cramp though and thankfully I've been able to calm my breathing.

Later folks

Since our return from travelling the world (oh its just nae fair that we had to come back) Nicola has spent 1/3 of the time pregnant. She has now been up the stick longer than the average career life span of a Pop Idol winner. It is hard to think that in the next few months, a little me and Nic will be living in this flat along with Auntie Lucy, helping us to claim family tax credits and beg on Union Street. It is becoming more likely as time goes on that I'll never own a play station 3 while they are fashionable. I'll never be able to go the pub without tying the kid's lead to the railings and asking the dog to watch him or her while I have 4 or 5 pints. It just doesn't seem real sometimes.

Anyway, I was reading a baby website (as the modern man has to do and at 28 weeks they have a quote from a baby that says:

"I think I am completely ready now. I still don't have the desire to come out yet, though."

When I read that I was sure that they had taken the quote from my kid. I say something very similar every morning from my bed and have done since forever.

I also read about a funny phase of pregnancy that Nicola is currently going through which is called 'Nesting'. Nesting is an interesting time. Dishes all of a sudden are being cleaned at 7am. Dusting is taking place at 7.20am, I am being shouted at for not picking up biscuit wrappers 25 hours a day 10 days a week. To be fair, I'm not the most active cleaner in the world and deserve some of the abuse but it seems a lot more intense just now and I try to say nothing when someone in the household has a rolling pin in their hand.

We had Kirsten's wedding on Friday at the Town House followed a meal and shindig at the Palm Court. Kirsten was looking incredible on her day and you could see Jorge's delight in making her his wife. There was some emotional speeches and I must say that the whole day for us was more enjoyable than watching a monkey poke it's bum and then smell it. Nicola managed to get a bit of a bogey on and I managed to get her to order wine for her and pass it to me during the meal. By the end of the night I was more than a little plastered whilst Nicola was soberer than a judge. Having a designated driver is definitely a benefit of having a pregnant bird - cha ching.

On a separate note, out little dog has come into season. I am determined to make sure she meets a man dog soon so both Nicola and the Dog give birth about the same time. Imagine how good that would be!!!!

Ok, better run and watch the end of crime watch, make sure Nic hasn't been robbing from old ladies again.

Cheers